THIS IS MY STORY
Celine Rivera Bianes
in
Real Name
Berlindo Rivera Bianes
one of the Ladyboy /Transgender of the Philippines
"for me life is not just ordinary , it is full of challenge and obstacles , but we need to face all this , no one could ever over come trial if you will never fight and face those struggle that comes in our life , do and fight , if you wanted to achieve your dream"
Education :
Have Assiciate in Computer Science : Eastern Samar State college
Have Bachelor of Secondary Education : Eastern Samar State University
Get Vocational course Bartending : TESDA Oras
Have Diploma In BS Psychology: ALISON -Level One Building Block 7/8, Galway Technology Park, Parkmore, Galway, H91 E309, Ireland.
ALSO FINISH Microsoft PowerPoint 2010:ALISON -Level One Building Block 7/8, Galway Technology Park, Parkmore, Galway, H91 E309, Ireland.
Other:
-Speaking and Writing English Effectively
-Diploma in English Language and Literature
- Fundamentals of Human Resources
Schoold ID : 1068694
Certificate Number: AC-442-1068694
https://www.facebook.com/bianesceline.rivera
Now i am still studying in Alison for more knowledge that i wanted to achieve and i know that one day i could receive the great one ...
Nothing is impossible in this world if you do and make it possible.. For me Hard life is natural for god children cause god makes always a miracle in our heart , even the other cannot realize it as of now. struggle of life is already our roles as human being. what we need to do is to be strong , and face all of the challenges ahead with us.
i born 1980 May 09 , at San Policarpo Eastern Samar .. my Parents are simple individual. they live as a Roman Catholic and Believes in Christ and father God as our King. So, in that way my parent Mold us with my siblings into a good Christian. But , when i am in my age of 7 years old, struggle start.. my father become womanizer , gumbler and alcholic. I saw always my mother crying , me and my young sister always feel scared and worries for our Mother , cause my father become very hard headed and he always angry with us and violnce of him is become so serious.
Our life become very hard and we suffer a lot of violence physically and emotionally. until the such time that my mother leave and stay in manila for work as a helper of my aunt and me and my young sister stay alone in the house , but we never stop studying we feel free our self to education. Our Neighbor look after us sometimes. in that way i try to do selling Ice Candy , i purchase it in the next town , Oras eastern samar . i travel 2 hours that time cause the road is rocky before or rap road. when i get arrive i immediatlty sell the ice candy , i go some fiesta in nearby Barrios. sometimes in regular day in the school but,mostly in Pilot or snposa and NeSa, cause high school could afford than elementary .. i walk to snposa 5 minutes to 10 minutes , but in god 's well i sold all i purchase. If weekend we go to collect sea shell and we sold it by plates and its plate cost 2 pesos . Sometimes net fishing with my playmates , we put the net to the sea water where fishes are , and after a 30minutes we got and check if there is already fishes in the fishnet.
Why we do that? why we never enjoy in Playing like other children? cause our life is very hard and we belong to the unfortunate children. sometime i set in the rock and thought about my life in the Future. But why it happend? before i feel that our table is full of Food when our mother call us to eat. why it change? why it turn that way? sometime i needed someone to answer , do i need to blame my father ? is that really the reason why we suffer that very hirrable life. orthis is onlyGod Challege , but why we who is young?
when i turn to high school and have enough mind to think , i realize life is really challenging. first year in my high school i need to stop my studies cause something happend that very un-acceptable, that makes me offend and Disappointed with my self. Our nieghbor accuse me for theif and that really hirrable and very impossible, one of my play mate who is her relatives buy some mango worth of 20 pesos and that 20 pesos i never know that it could be the evidence. so as young 12 years old really i don't even know what to do, they force me to admit the mistakes or the accusation, cause if i never admit it they will bring me to the police. So, even i am not the one who did that i have no choice but to say Yes I am.. that how young is... I never realize that if i say yes i lied to my self and being liar is a sin.
Toadmit or confess other mistake is wrong, but i never realize it. but i need to do that cause i need to be clean. until again one of my neighbor accuse again while i am selling ice candy that i steal their rice and i sell the rice to other. This woman who blamed me and point me is a Gumbler. she point me to escape her wrong doing. Oh god that is very terrable really and i don't know why it happend. even i am innocent about all they people around looks me like i am really BAd human being. So in my mind it imply that i am notlike that, i am good individual and i will prove them, and i do so.
after that year , i swear that woman will suffer a lot, and i never considered my words that it could be step to a curse. the Husband of this woman Killed , and he is killed cause of blaming other about thieft. I feel some Guilt cause i know that i sweared it or curse it,, but i don't believe about it ,, but surely i really out that words to my mouth.
I continue to my high school , and in this point i never really expect that light of sunshine spot into my heart. i met one of the man who i considered my infatuations. wow ! story start like a movie, A bit movie of Sharon Cunita and Vilma Santos, while accrossing the coredor from room 3 to room 1, i accidentally clash or hits one man. but it is his fault, i know it is his fault.. but instead that he help me to pick my things that scattered around , he become angry with me and Said " you out of your mind" weehhh , i never feel i am like that , cause that time i am okay and i watch my step, it is him who is careless.
after that incident , the day after , i attend the Flag ceremony the ritual significance in respecting the valuable sign of peace.. i hope there is peace in me today. now i need to know after here my adviser and all my subject. so , i quietly stand and take the lane for the freshmen - after the retuals the Principal announce the section and adviser. i get my pen and wrote the name . Sound name specially the Family name notso familiar., i bring my feet to the lobby and step to the Room where my adviser is., noise , laughing , new face , no body i know , i am not familiar with ... i am strangers or they are they stragers. i don't mind .. 3 minute after the room become very quiet .. oh i see there is man setting in the Teacher table and if not my mistakes this is our adviser that is why they quiet. And the man stand and i so nervious cause he is the man i was clash in the corredor. oh my gost... he is a teacher here and our adviser.. The Reading of names is start and if your 1/8 sheet of paper calls you need to up and introduce your self.
my name was called and i start with ... after i introduce my self ,, he smile at me.. oh god, is this man insulting me or what .. but infairness he is good looking man , my eyes have the stars twinckled and dancing,, my heart beat become fast and my mind brings till the table of this man.
The days of my first year become so happy , all the excitement brigs me always happiness. i always look after him. my day is complete if i saw him. and empty if i never saw this man.
December 20 our chrismas Party preparation it was 8pm we need to prepared pancit bihon, bakintol with fried checken and we need to do this in his house. hmmm , 4 pm i was in their house i am the very excited he he he not about xmas party butabout him...but instead that i become happy i feel so sad, i saw one woman.. ohhh who is she.. then one of my classmate told me he is married and that woman is also a teacher , she is the wife. ... my feet bring me down but i still need to stand for and be strong... 0h why i need to feel that.. who am i and what is my relationship to this man.. what is my role.. nothing... celine nothing...celine don't expect something ... your not...
he call me name , and i near him and he ask me to go with him into the Room 1 , with my 2 classmate we go room 1 and we put some design for additional looks for the contest. And because i am thin and not so big he advice me to put the star in the center. and yes we do, while i am hanging the star and dangle it to the nail. the Chair start Rocking and 2 of my classmate shout with scared. he Run and catch me..ohhh i never say words and even to thank him i forget. cause my mouth is covered by my heart .. he told me ,take good care and that is the time i feel that atleast he cared ..
we finish first year and we go second year , wow luckily he is still my adviser,
i become closer to him, yes finally i know now what i feel. this is a infatuations , rather than Puppy love cause he is not able.. he is taken already.. but his eyes always reflect love , the shineness of his face , the spark of real feeling drag me up to believe my self one day we could be. for me if i choice one man to be my husband i will choice him and he is what i wanted to be. year pass and time become matured feelings is become strong and matual.
My mind applied one things , what if i stay in High school with him.. is that possible.. what i need to do so that he could find me some attentions .. i need to make my exam nice and Participate the discussion ,, yes i do to gain his attention.. but it will not applicable no effect.. what if i make mistakes, no assignment, no exam , i need to absent so that she could try to know i am not there .. and that become efficience. It really works.. with in that way eveything is so nice and lovely.. all the year he always ask my mates if why i am absent , why my exam is failed , why i have no project , your grade is very low.. being Kulang ng PAnsin , get on me up.. i realize that i am important on him.
until one day i saw him at the Beach with his family, they enjoy a lot and have the good bonding. while is set in the sand, i realize what life i have .. why i feel like this and what is my future in loving this man.
i was in the 4th year high school when i realize i am down.. my feet is 10 inches already below the ground. and i know for high school it is late to make up all the failure i have done.
After High school i proceed to college , and i take the course Associate In computer Science... and while i studying the course i still though of him, i tried to look other man faces but no body replace him, he still the walled image , the scaptured that reflect in my eyes. until end of my first year in ACS i think to stop and never enroll secondyear , and decide to go cebu in my Relatives, and i work there .. but still my mind is him.. i cannot really erase him no body replace nothing..
